Just a Little Journalistic Insight

As part of the Joy Equation, I've been writing in a journal every day using their provided prompts. The prompts have been all over the place but I've found them very useful into learning a lot about myself.

In answer to the question, "Write about a specific experience that made you feel wonderful, joyous, or positively alive..."

I don't have one particular memory but most of my best memories have two things in common. 1- I feel irrevocably loved by the people I'm with. Memories of me with friends and family I know love me for the good and the bad. Moments where I get to show my completely goofy side without the fear of judgement or reproach. And 2- I feel loved, wanted, and needed for me and nothing else. I'm not the host, I'm not the girl that was invited because I was standing there during the invitation- these are moments where it's all about me and the people around me enjoying ourselves with no reservations."

In response to the question, "What surprised me about the answers I wrote down to the question, 'How do others see you?'"

"The thing that surprised me the most was how when I didn't think and just wrote. I wrote all sorts of happy and positive things about myself but as soon as I let my mind start to work and thought about what I was writing then the negative juices begin to pour in and invade my writing. So maybe I just need to live the life that's really in there without all of the self-doubt and criticism."

And finally, after writing a story in the day of the life of me in 10 years (in which I even went far enough to name my two kids)...

"It wasn't hard at all to imagine having kids and being a stay at home mom ten years from now. The words just kind of flowed out of what my perfect day looks like. And the other thing that surprised me about my story was that most of my wants and things that brought me joy are surrounded by emotional needs rather than physical needs. I want to have a family but I don't care what my house looks like. I want to sing cartoon theme songs while watching TV with my daughter, but I don't care how big my TV is."

Maybe I'll look back at this post in a couple of years and see if my feelings and answers are still the same. For now I'll just keep writing how I'm feeling now.